Iced Honeybuns and High Heels

Imagine for a moment that you are in a treatment program. Let’s say that you’re placed in rehab for your addiction to iced honey buns, from the gas station, conveniently located next to your house. (My Actual Reality) One day, during your favorite group session, you’re asked to step out by a woman you had […]

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A Very Important Pizza Moment.

Yep, that’s me. With my tongue sticking out like a turtle head. Licking sauce from the corners of my mouth. Enjoying a slice of Papa John’s pizza, without the feeling of guilt or thoughts of purging that, once delicious, slice of pizza later. This is what progress, with my eating disorder, looks like. Everyone’s progression […]

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Brain Dump

WHAT IS A BRAIN DUMP? A brain dump is simply the act of dumping all the contents of your mind onto paper as one might dump the contents of a purse onto a table. You are spilling out stressors, your nagging thoughts, your pesky annoyances. I am going to dump my brain how I want […]

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My brain on anxiety.

This morning, Ian missed the litter box by a whole apartment and peed on my bed, with me still in it. I couldn’t sleep. Stared at my ceiling, anxious because of the enormous amount of SHIT filling up my brain and there’s no way anxiety will give dreaming any space. Trust me I know my […]

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Realistic Resolutions

Eating disorder, OCD, anxiety, panic disorder, depression. For YEARS I have let these voices, fears, and nervousness plan my day, what I eat, how much I sleep, my relationships, my health, my happiness. I’ve decided to challenge myself this year and set a few realistic goals to gain back control of my life. Get a […]

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Pinky Promise.

  Dear Body, I want to apologise for how I’ve treated you. I’m sorry for thinking you’re not good enough. I’m sorry for starving you. I’m sorry I let my mind play tricks. I’m sorry for causing you physical pain.  I’m sorry I don’t see the beauty other’s see. I’m told you’re beautiful. I’m sorry […]

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Life without an ED?

Recovery – A return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.  What is normal? I’ve forgotten the feeling. It’s no secret that recovery scares me, but why?  People recover everyday. People want to recover. It’s been ten years now Morgan, can’t you just get better already? I don’t know? The hardest part right now […]

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Thank You.

To You.  Thank you for not giving up on me when that’s all I want to do. Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful because that’s not what I see. Thank you for buying me food I would eat. That’s the best thing you could do. Thank you for caring. Thank you for all the […]

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Let It Go!

I came across a quote my old roomie wrote down for me. “One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.”-Brigitte Nicole. I wish letting go of anything was easy, but it’s not. This quote doesn’t just apply to my disorder either. […]

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Here’s to Hope!

  I am giddy this morning. I got an email back from a counselor who deals with many challenges that I face everyday. Depression, anxiety, panic disorder, grief from death, eating disorders, and more. That’s basically me gift wrapped in a box with a bow on top saying, “here, fix ME please!” I have been […]

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Do You Believe in Mermaids?

I imagined that my post about religion would raise some controversy, but to my surprise I got more positive feedback just from being my brutally honest self, than anything. With that being said, I recently received a comment on a completely different post of mine from a blog centered around, yes, God. I was told […]

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I AM an Alien…

With this blog I am obviously not hiding the fact that I have an eating disorder. I’m exposing myself to you all for a reason, but last night was the first time I addressed my disorder to a stranger without feeling ashamed. Now, I don’t go around introducing myself “Hi, I’m Morgan, I have an […]

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